The best time to learn life lessons is in childhood before poor habits are developed. Sometimes parents make the mistake of thinking their child is too young to learn. I have found that a child is never too young to learn if you create a plan to help them to understand, practice, and develop the lesson you want them to learn. I love getting 4- and 5-year-old students because they have not developed bad habits yet and can quickly learn good ones. Children who are 7, 8, or 9 years old have started to develop bad habits that need correcting and then replaced by good habits. This takes more work but can be done with the proper focus and discipline. By the age of 13, children have very likely cemented their habits into place – good or bad – and the rest of their life will be shaped by those habits.
Now is the perfect time to teach your children essential truths that lead to a happy and successful life.
Consider the things you wish your parents had taught you when you were younger. How would your life differ from today? What can you teach your child that will help them for the rest of their lives?
Teach your child how to be happy and successful:
The best time to learn life lessons is in childhood before poor habits are developed. Sometimes parents make the mistake of thinking their child is too young to learn. I have found that a child is never too young to learn if you create a plan to help them to understand, practice, and develop the lesson you want them to learn. I love getting 4- and 5-year-old students because they have not developed bad habits yet and can quickly learn good ones. Children who are 7, 8, or 9 years old have started to develop bad habits that need correcting and then replaced by good habits. This takes more work but can be done with the proper focus and discipline. By the age of 13, children have very likely cemented their habits into place – good or bad – and the rest of their life will be shaped by those habits.
Now is the perfect time to teach your children essential Life Lessons, which are truths that lead to a happy and successful life.
Consider the things you wish your parents had taught you when you were younger. How would your life differ from today? What can you teach your child that will help them for the rest of their lives?
Teach your child how to be happy and successful with these Life Lessons:
#1 – Be a Good Winner and a Good Loser
Everyone experiences winning and losing throughout their life. It’s important to do both well. Those that win and lose poorly struggle later in life. The winning and losing never stop. It makes life easier when you learn how to do both gracefully at an early age.
Teaching children that they will not be “the best” at everything they do will help prevent frustration and anxiety as they grow up. One secret I teach the kids karate class is they get to define what winning and losing is, so they have more control over the situation than most children.
#2 – Learn to Finish Things
Teach your child to follow through to completion. It doesn’t matter if the task is cleaning their room, raking leaves, or playing a game. Adults with the habit of leaving things undone lead chaotic lives. Finish and then move on to the next task.
I teach parents about the quit muscle. If you practice quitting, you get better at quitting. Just like a muscle, if you use it regularly, it will get stronger. Don’t allow your child to develop their quit muscle!
They are not going to fall in love with everything they try, and that is ok. You still want to teach them to finish. This teaches them about commitment. You signed up for an activity and it starts on this date and ends on that date. If you don’t want to continue after that, fine.
#3 – Tell the Truth
Lying is a really bad habit. It might feel like a viable solution in the short term, but it fails in the long term. Lying is a crutch that creates greater challenges and unnecessary drama. Telling the truth is easier on many levels.
This is a perfect example of never being too young to learn. Parents tend to let their children get away with lying and justify it by saying, “Well, they are only 4.” But, if you allow the habit to start, it will grow. So, it is better to not allow it to start. One of the biggest secrets I teach parents is the definition of lying. You will hear people say, “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you the whole truth.” That is lying by omission. With a clear definition, there are no exceptions to telling the truth. I always tell my students, “Never be afraid to answer as long as you are telling the truth.” Children tend to get stuck after you ask them a question because they are either afraid you will get mad or afraid to tell you they don’t know the answer. The number #1 rule in my program is “Speak When Spoken To”. Teaching children to say, “I don’t know, sir” allows them to learn to speak up and it helps me know that I need to continue teaching until they do know.
#4 – It’s Okay to Fail
Failure is one of the most efficient ways to learn. You make an attempt, come up short, and readjust your approach. Children that are afraid of failing are stifled as adults. Life is too short to hide from every opportunity that might result in failure.
One of the main philosophies in my program is “Failure is My Friend”. Fail fast so you can learn fast. Children tend to take failure personally which prevents them from learning. Teaching children that failure is data. Take that data and use it to get a better result. Repeat this process until you are successful. If a child learns this habit young, they will be incredibly successful in life.
Teach this Life Lesson to your child as soon as possible!
#5 – Persistence Wins
The person who never quits always seems to win in the long term. I remember when I was in junior high school, I ran the 1-mile race of my team. I was good but I had hit my best time and wasn’t able to beat it for several weeks. Every day I would practice, I would run sprints, time trials, and all of the other things everyone did.
One day, my coach tried something different with me. He grabbed the 4 fastest boys on the team who ran the ¼ mile and put me next to them. He said, “I want to stay with John for the first lap.” Being the competitive person I am, even more so back then, I said, “No problem.” The coach yelled go, and off we went. John was fast, but I was able to stay with him for the entire lap around the track. Now, to my surprise, just as we were about to cross the finish line, the coach sent the next boy out and yelled at me to catch him. Well, say no more; off I went, and by the end of the 2nd lap, I had caught him. You can probably guess what happened next. Yep – the coach sent the 3rd boy off and told me to catch him and again with the 4th boy. I didn’t quite catch the last boy, but the experiment had worked. As I was gasping for air, the coach came over and showed me my time. I had beaten my best time ever by over 20 seconds!!
There are going to be challenges and obstacles that get in your way. Go over, around, or under them. Just figure out how to get past it and you will always come out better on the other side. One of my favorite quotes from Walt Disney from the movie Meet The Robinsons: “Keep Moving Forwards.”
Have Goals
A child’s goal might be to get an A on a test or be nice to his sister for the rest of the evening. Having an intention leads to success. Without goals, we’re at risk of wandering aimlessly through life. Ask your child what they want to accomplish today and help them understand how they can achieve it.
One lesson I teach in class is during the warmup. Kids run in place, focusing on High Knees for 10 seconds. After a couple of rounds, I have the parents hold a pad in front of their child, and every single time, they do better than they did the first time. I tell them, “This type you saw a goal before you started, so you were able to do better because you knew what result you wanted.”
An advanced skill I teach children is to create short, mid, and long-term goals to help keep them on the path to success. I remind them that they get better at what they practice and then ask them, “What did you do today to get closer to your goal?”
Say Please and Thank You
Everyone is worthy of a certain amount of respect. Saying please and thank you regularly is one way of demonstrating that respect. This life lesson can be learned as soon as your child is able to talk.
There is never an excuse for bad manners. This can be learned as young as 3 years old. If you want something, there is a proper way to ask. If someone does something for you, and you want them to do it again in the future, thank them. It only takes a few seconds to teach, but the results are huge in making the rest of their life much happier. Children who show gratitude become adults who have great relationships with friends and significant others.
Success Requires Work
Success at school, sports, work, family life, and relationships require work. Nothing is automatic. A little effort each day is necessary for success in any part of life. This life lesson is important for all ages.
If this habit is not taught, children grow up with a sense of entitlement. The world does not treat these people very kindly. In fact, people will go out of their way to prove that you don’t deserve what you think you do. Entitlement happens when children are given everything and don’t have to put any effort or work into getting it. Most people think this only happens in families that are financially wealthy, but that is not true. I see it all the time in all kinds of situations. A 13-year-old boy whose Mom caters to his needs cleans up after him, and coddles him can develop the same sense of entitlement that a family who has a lot of money can.
I teach children from day one, that the world will not just give you things. Students begin class without a belt. Once they finish class, I ask them if they have any questions. Almost every time, the child will ask, “When do I get my belt?” I answer them, “Great question. Mom, Dad, what is something they can do at home to earn their belt?” It generally doesn’t take long for the parents to come up with something they want their child to do that they are not doing at the moment. I love seeing the pride and sense of accomplishment when the child comes to their next class with all kinds of excitement to tell me that they did want they were asked to do and have earned their belt.
Eat Well and Exercise Regularly
Imagine how much better you’d feel if you had spent the last 20 years eating well and exercising consistently. Habits developed in childhood can last a lifetime. This life lesson will give your child a fighting chance to avoid obesity and the associated health issues. Teach them about healthy choices and why the unhealthy choices can taste good now but cause lifelong trouble. They need to learn balance in all things. It is ok to enjoy an occasional sugary snack but balance it out with healthy meals and exercise.
Today, children spend a lot more time in front of a screen than they do outdoors playing. Again, balance comes into play. Both are ok if done in balance. Spend some time moving and getting exercise so you can spend some time on your tablet or computer. I suggest keeping the mindless, time vampires, on the internet to a minimum or even zero. (Ex. YouTube, TikTok, etc.)
Save Your Money
If everyone consistently saved 15% of their paycheck, 95% of the financial challenges people face could be avoided or easily eliminated. How much could you have saved since you started working? Teach your child to save a portion of any money they receive and explain why it’s important.
This is challenging for a lot of parents simply because you were never taught it. How can you teach something that you were never taught? The first lesson is about delayed gratification. People tend to want what they want NOW! Why wait, I can get it on credit, or make monthly payments so I can get it now. Trouble is, those methods of buying come with terms, and the minute you miss a payment, the terms kick in and make that purchase extremely expensive. Buying with cash is always best. Teaching children to know the cost of something and how much they have to save up for it, will teach them delayed gratification.
Every person in the world would be a millionaire if they opened an IRA and put $500 in it on their 18th birthday. Teaching children about compounding interest and time is important. The younger your child started to invest money, the more they will have when they are old.
My financial coach said to me one time, “Poor people buy kids toys and junk they might use for a short amount of time. Rich people buy their children shares of stock that grows as they get older.” Yes, getting shares of a stock at age 9 or 10 is not exciting. But taking those shares at buying your own car when you are 16 is incredible.
Start teaching your child Life Lessons when they are young. Children trust their parents and look to you for guidance. Make it your mission to give them the best possible chance at happiness and success in life by teaching them everything you can.